Reality Tea: October Booze N’ Books!

Hey Loves!  Read this hilarious review of my book Inner Circle: The Wives Association from RealityTea.com. Thank goodness I don’t take everything personal and know how to laugh off certain things. At least they thought the book was a good read!  :)  Click on the title above to get your fill of juiciness if you already haven’t!  :)  BTW…I’m going to have to try Melissa’s Vodka…

It’s that time again! Reality Tea’s Booze ‘N Books Club! With zillions of reality stars – and new ones popping up every second – and each one with something to sell, we here at Reality Tea decided to test out some of these fetes of literary greatness. And what goes better with books that are badly written than cocktails? So we thought we’d try something fun and review some of these gems!

Each month Reality Tea will be reviewing both a book and a cocktail. Last month we reviewed NeNe Leakes‘ Never Make The Same Mistake Twice. And for cocktails we did the great Real Housewives of Atlanta Moscato-off. In case you weren’t aware Kim Zoliciak and Cynthia Bailey both offer their own versions of the wine, and NeNe allegedly has (had?) one.

This month we’re branching out and offering another network the opportunity to hawk some swag and reviewing Evelyn Lozada‘s Inner Circle: The Wives Association. And because surprisingly – very surprisingly given their propensity for drunken antics – none of the ladies of Basketball Wives offers a cocktail, we’re reviewing Melissa Gorga‘s Voli Lyte Vodka. The ladies of Real Housewives of New Jersey are inundated with bottled beverages it seems.

THE BOOZE: 

I’ll be the first to admit that while I’m not a light beverage fan, I actually liked Voli Vodka. Although, I’m not exactly sure what makes it light, per se ( I thought vodka was always light?), it was very good. Now Melissa doesn’t actually make this drink – she just promotes it. And it turns out so do Fergie andPitbull, who are featured prominently on the site. On Display was not. Someday, right?

Anyway, it is a great vodka. And trust me, I’ve tried a lot of vodka. Former WVU Mountaineer in the house = many, many parties and cocktails. Go ‘Neers!

Voli advertises as light, natural, and features fruit fusion whatever that means. I’ll just go with good, yummy, and surprisingly clean. I’ve pretty much never liked a Housewife booze, so there’s a first time for everything.

Anyway, I tried “original”, “raspberry cocoa fusion” and “orange vanilla fusion” All three were deliish! I’m too scairt and not enough of a drinker anymore to try it straight so I made cocktails out of all three. I mixed the original with Q Tonic (which my grocery store advertised as the best in the world. For $5 it better be!), some lime, and a splash of raspberry lemonade. No complaints. I drank 3.

WHO HAS THE BETTER BOOZE: TERESA VS. MELISSA?

I mixed the raspberry one with hibiscus tea and made a tea-tini to live-tweet the RHONJ finale. It was awesomely good. So good I think y’all oughta try it next week. Make sure to chill the tea before mixing in the vodka. Add a splash of lime and some simple syrup too.

And for the orange vanilla I just mixed in some tonic and a splash of fresh orange.

RATING: I have to say I really do recommend this vodka. You should definitely try some even if you don’t want to help help Melissa stay On Display (each and every day…). My vote goes to the original. If you definitely want Melissa to go Go Away, well Bethenny Frankel apparently makes a Skinnygirl light vodka too.

THE BOOK: 

Oh Evelyn, I love your delusion. Don’t you ever change, girl! Inner Circle: The Wives Association is a thinly-veiled pseudo memoir that is two things: 1) a cover-to-cover wishful thinking tome about how Evelyn wishes her life really were and, 2) the story of Evelyn and Chad Johnson.

In the “novel” Eve and Chase met and fell in love instantly, and married after he begged her time and time again while she rebuffed him for fear of settling down. Eventually he persuaded her. He’s a professional athlete on top of his game and she is a successful entertainment agent who went to law school. Evelyn wishes, right!

Eve is also hot in all the ways Evelyn is and really quite freaky in bed. How do I know? Lemme tell you the details are SA-LA-CIOUS! Um… wanna know about butt sex, oral, and all the ways Eve-lyn can write the alphabet with her vag? Pick up Inner Circle. Eve apparently knows how to keep a man faaar better than Evelyn does. Low blow? Eve isn’t finding any condoms in Chase’s car – and she keeps that man on a tight leash!

Eve and Chase have a perfect-ish marriage, he of course never cheats, he adores and respects her but still has high expectations of their marriage and her.

Her best friend’s hubby does cheat. Eve is inspired to form some sort of Wives Association to protect player’s wives from philandering athletes, prenups that take advantage of them, and skanky jumpoffs and baby mamas. The women in the book seem to resemble women on Basketball Wives. The Jackie character, who is a secret lesbian, seems to represent the Shaunie O’Neal character – which leads me to wonder what Shaunie is doing at home.

One of the women is  perfectionist who wants everyone to believe her life, her marriage, her home is perfect – even if it’s not. I’m betting that character represents Evelyn’s former BFF Jennifer Williams. Of course none of these women participate in a trashy reality TV show. Nope, they’re all too A-List, established, and professionally developed for all that.

RATING: Basically this book is a dramatic soap opera of cheesy velveeta awesomeness that I hightly recommend if you like campy romance novels and tons of escapades. Evelyn had a co-author and that lady knows how to spin a yarn into cubic zirconia. If you want a good “beach read” or you want details on Evelyn’s sex life, read it.

Next month: I will be reviewing Andy Cohen‘s Most Talkative and in honor of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills return, we’ll be reviewing Lisa Vanderpump‘s Villa Blanca Rose. As always, if you have any input on the above products please chime in!

TELL US – HAVE YOU TRIED VOLI VODKA OR READ EVELYN’S BOOK?

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